Day 16 – Kittywompus vs Cattywompus


Yesterday morning as I walked onto Pod 5, our home for the past sixteen days (but who is counting?!), the nurses were having a debate about Layton.  Was he “Kittywompus” or “Cattywompus”?  Angie, our nurse from the first week was determined he was “Kittywompus” and Kristen, our day nurse for the past couple of days, was equally determined he was “Cattywompus.”  “Kitty” and “Catty” I kind of get.  Kitty is small, cute, fun.  Catty is the more mature, sophisticated version of “wompus”.  What the $#%* is “wompus” you ask?  I think my Canadian translation would be “cockeyed” or “crooked”.  You see, for the past sixteen days, Layton has been in a bed that is too short for him so now that he is more aware of himself in the bed, he is sleeping as “diagonal” as you can in a single hospital bed.  So, now if you use these words ten times today, you too can expand your vocabulary to include Kittywompus and Cattywompus.  Perhaps you could spend the rest of the week growing it even more with “Puppywompus” or “Doggywompus” or “Calfwompus” or “Cowwompus” (this would be good for Scrabble with the double “w”s)…you could do this for the entire month.  I will let you know what great words we come up with.

As Layton has become increasingly well, except for that breathing part of his life, I have become increasingly animated (imagine that!) watching for things on TV and in the news that might entertain him.  Last night, for instance, they were advertising a new prescription we could get to increase the length and thickness (No, get your mind away from there!!) of, get this, your EYELASHES.  Do we really care??  Do we care enough to take the risks of all the side effects?  Some in the pharmaceutical industry really play to our insecurities.  Layton wrote me a note suggesting that this could be a good prescription for Donald Trump as then he could use his eyelashes as his “combover”.  Now that’s a vision!

On the news this morning, a senator was talking about the different kinds of extended health plans and suggested that maybe the plans did not need to include things such as hair transplants, especially if you are a young person with a family history of thick hair! (OK so I took a little of poetic license with the family history but really!! Vanity is fine-but with health care $??  Bruce, do we have this coverage??  especially with our travel insurance since it seems like we are going to have the time!)

Layton has been running a mild fever for days; I guess that is pretty common.  The ICU is so cold, it takes forever to warm up after a day there.  I have been putting cool washcloths on his forehead.  Yesterday, he had the bright idea that I should get him a spray bottle to cool him down.  One of our new friends took us to Walgreens and we got one.  We quickly got busted saying they did not want us to wet him too much and I don’t know really what the reason was, make it look like he was sweating or something.  Today, with the curtains closed, I did spray him a bit, but I warned him, if he does not behave, I can change it from fine soothing mist to hard, water gun spray!

He continues to be optimistic about my ability to understand his hand signals.  I continue to think that if I could understand them we could beat the Day family clan at Cranium!  Watch out Riley, Jess, and Inge!  I am working on it!

I was telling Layton that I had made a suggestion to some old friends that we should plan to hike the Camino Trail in N Spain again next year.  The silence could be telling.  I suggested he would do it with me.  Just so you know the first and only time I got him to go cross-country skiing with me across a schoolyard, just for practice, after two strokes, he stopped, looked at me sardonically and stated firmly, “I had MORE FUN when I had HEMMORHOIDS.”  OK-not one of my better ideas, I guess.

So, I suggested he could do the hike with me and backpack across Spain.  “Sure,” he wrote, “I can do it with a strapless backpack.  I will just get a pack with magnets and it will stick to me!”  At least his left side.

More to follow-yesterday was a big day.

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